i just wanna soil my oats bro
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
