farters have to be the big spoon...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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