you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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