Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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