You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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