I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
