i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
