What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
