Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
