I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
