But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
