Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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