Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
