I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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