if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
