Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
