he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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