it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
