tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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