People in love make me want to vomit
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
