All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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