I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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