do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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