I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
