so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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