i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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