piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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