I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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