Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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