Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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