I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
