Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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