the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
