SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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