I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
