Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
