Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
