I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
