He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
