and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
