So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
