His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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