Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
