An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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