then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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