we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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