I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
