We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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