So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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