I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
